The enemy (Satan, the devil or who used to be Lucifer) loves to get us off-guard and involved in hand-to-hand combat with him. He knows how weak we are without the Lord's anointing, without the Holy Spirit. That's the only way Satan has a chance to beat us down, get us discouraged, drained and totally useless.
So, he starts off seemingly innocently with a question. You're face-to-face with a relative, a close buddy or a respected member of your society when, before you know it, the conversation escalates. It usually begins with a little question or doubt or remark. Often, it's about YOU.
We're sensitive. Let's face it. Nobody likes to be put down or criticized. We want to believe we are the chosen ones, the ones who have found the Truth and are walking in "the way", bla-bla-blah. But then someone comes along and ribs us or jabs us or (heaven forbid) full-on hits us where it hurts most. (Don't underestimate Satan's ability to know exactly where your Achilles' heel is.)
So, Satan, or the devil ---usually it's one of his minions-- uses a person that is close to us. Relatives are his first choice because there's an unwritten law concerning our relationship with relatives. We listen to our relatives and try to respect them since they have some of the same genes as us. Forget genes!
What did Jesus say about relatives? Plain and simple He warned us that they are our ENEMIES.
Matthew 10:36, "And a man's foes shall be they of his own household."What did he say about your brother? And even your children?
Matthew 10:21, "And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death."
Some of us have found this out the hard way. And, when I say hard, I mean the way of arguing. The simple truth is that, some people love to argue. They will go out of their way to pick a fight. It doesn't even matter what they argue about or with whom. Their object is to put you down.
Why?
So they can put themselves up. Or, at least, they feel they can put themselves up by beating you down, walking all over you, pointing out all your faults and making you look like an idiot in front of others. So, as I was saying, they start off with a simple little question. From there, it's pick-pick-pick. Usually attacking your personal qualities, pointing out that you have no qualifications, no expertise, no abilities whatsoever, so who do you think you are, anyway, trying to tell me about God?
I am the one who should be telling you about my concept of God and the meaning of the universe. But, I won't. You should ask me whatever you need to know. I know everything. I'm a well-spring of knowledge. You should respect me for the giant of knowledge and experience that I am.
They love to see you get emotionally involved. As soon as the blood rises in your cheeks or your nostrils start to flare, they know they have you! You're a goner. Now you're taking it personally. You are on the hook and going down. And they love to watch you struggle, wiggle, squirm and jerk on the line. You are being played for a sucker. And how the devil's own loves the game.
Being the humans that they are, most relatives will use their so-called "support" or "help" as an advantage over you, making you feel obligated to them in some way. In some cases, even when you owe them nothing, they'll bring up the past or remind you of how they're doing something for you that you are dependent on them for. (And, by the way, it's not God that you're depending on. It's them.)
To the unsaved, unbelieving, and sometimes, reprobate relative, you are the oddball. They somehow believe that being related to you by blood gives them the privilege to disrespect, ignore and belittle you. (I'm talking about relatives who are not born-again and not Spirit-filled, those who do not love Jesus and have obviously chosen a different path.)
What we're doing here is we're exposing one of the enemy's tactics that he has used billions of times down throughout history. And, why does he tend to use this same tactic over and over? Because it works.
Oh, yes, it works.
The thing is that most of us believers feel it's our "duty" to "deliver our soul" and to get the message out to our relatives and everyone else. So, we feel all righteous and used of the Lord when we're preaching the Gospel, standing up for Jesus and speaking the Word. That makes us feel like we're dutifully obeying the Lord and fully in God's will. ---And sometimes, we are.
But, sometimes we're just not. Sometimes we're going into a battle that was never God's will. He never told us to go into that battle. He never put the words in our mouth. We're simply not anointed, we're not being led of the Lord and therefore we do not have the power or the strength for that battle.
How do you tell the difference?
1. Do you feel like banging your head against the wall and screaming?
2. Is the person you are "talking" to (possibly arguing with) listening at all?
3. Is the conversation going around in circles and making you dizzy?
4. Has anything you said resonated with the person? Any dent?
5. Is the conversation focused on the Word or is it mostly focused on pride, vanity, materialism and nonsense?
6. Finally, does the altercation or conversation leave you feeling hopeless, despondent, discouraged, drained and almost suicidal?
When you come away from a conversation or argument feeling wounded, bruised, angry and fed up, it's exactly Satan's cup of tea. His mission has been accomplished. He hit you below the belt several times, had you gasping for air and pretty much won the attack on your dignity and inspiration.
Hopefully, we'll learn our lesson after one or two of these altercations. Sadly, some of us never learn.
Why not?
I'd call it pride. There's no other reasonable explanation for why we would want to enter into a counter-productive, time-wasting, draining argument with a "goat" or "reprobate". If we're honest, we have to admit our pride makes us do it. We feel we have something to prove.
But, not for the Lord. Oh yes, we tell ourselves it's all for the glory of God. We tell ourselves it's our duty to prove that our God is the One and Only true God. So, we argue.
At first, we pull out a verse or two and brandish the Word, deftly enough. But, as soon as it gets personal, our defenses go up. Then it becomes a battle ---not for the Lord but to defend our pride. True or not?
So, when we are faced with this kind of battle, what should we do?
1. Pray. Ask the Lord what to do.
2. Do what God tells you to do no matter what anybody else says or does.
3. If the Lord tells you to walk away, walk away. If He tells you to stand and do battle, put on the whole armor of God. Don't try to fight the enemy in your own strength.
4. Remember that our God is Love. Speak every word in love. Don't allow yourself to become angry.
5. Don't get drawn into an argument. Be very wary of arguing even if it's for the Lord. God is able to defend Himself. He doesn't need us to defend Him.
6. Your greatest witness may be your silence.
7. Don't be judgmental. Only God knows man's/woman's heart.
8. If there is one appropriate scripture that the Lord gives you for the situation, quote it in love. Quote it several times, if possible, because the Word will sink in and take hold of his/her heart even if at a later date. The Word of God does not return void.
9. Remember that often actions can speak louder than words. Your generosity, kindness and consideration put into action is a great testimony of God's love.
10. If it's obvious that the person is in a bad mood or angry, avoid communication. Excuse yourself.
You'll notice that Jesus didn't waste words with the devil. He would say, "Hold your peace and come out of him." Or, "Get thee hence, Satan." Jesus didn't have long conversations with the devil or let him do all the talking. He certainly never argued with him.
During His greatest temptation, he simply told the devil, "It is written..." then quoted the Word to contradict him. He didn't bother getting into dialogue or refuting his accusations. He didn't try to prove to the devil who He was. He knew Who He was and He knew that God knew.
We are affected by other people around us. You can be all alone in your room enjoying sweet fellowship with the Lord and come out radiant with the Spirit of God, only to be thrust into a dark cloud that's been hanging over someone else's head all day long. Suddenly, you become involved in their dark cloud. Yuck.
How much easier is it to walk away? But that's when it takes discernment and hearing from the Lord as to what to do because, sometimes that person really needs a boost up. You may be the only one who can give it to them. After all, you're on a higher level, vibrating at heaven's beat, happy and full of faith. So you have the power to encourage them and lift them up to your level. Why not?
Just be ware of deep dark bottomless pits ---people who want to do nothing else but drag you down into the depths of despair with them to wallow in their misery. Avoid them like the plague.
