"He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven; for everyone has need to be forgiven."
Whoever thinks they do not need to be forgiven is greatly deceived.
In a sense, if we do not, cannot or will not forgive, we are declaring that we do not need forgiveness and we are not required to extend it to others. And that's just pure PRIDE. It's a ridiculous and childish attitude of,
"I'm perfect but you're not."
It's like that picture of the kid on the playground who says, "I'm taking my toys and going home."
He doesn't want to share his toys with others because he's selfish. It's funny and even kind of cute because we've all been there. But, hopefully, we will all grow out of that stage.
So, how is it that some of us are deceived into thinking that we are not required to forgive?
I think it has something to do with comparing sins with sins. The thought pattern is like this:
"I can forgive THIS but not THAT. THAT was a sin of the mind but THIS is a sin of the heart. THIS was unintentional but THAT was on purpose!"
We get the idea that we can be stingy with our forgiveness as if it's something we possess and give away. That right there is wrong thinking because, as imperfect human beings, we don't naturally possess the ability to forgive. It's not like we have a reservoir full of forgiveness to pour out to whoever we decide "deserves" it.
Like the lady told the judge, "Please have mercy on my son!"
And when the judge said, "Your son does not deserve mercy!"
She replied, "If he deserved it, it wouldn't BE mercy!"
The only way we can extend forgiveness to others is by fully and deeply knowing that we are not perfect, we are sinners and that we deserve to go to Hell! Yes, we deserve to go to Hell, people. iThere's not one of us who can escape the fires of Hell without the blood of Christ!
And just because you "feel" or "judge" that someone has "done you wrong", it does not give you the right to hold a grudge. You don't have that luxury unless you are GOD.
In fact, Jesus warned us in this way. He said in Matthew chapter 6, verses 14 and 15
"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
Wow.
That's pretty intense, don't you think? I mean, this is Jesus Christ our Saviour talking saying that, "Yes, I died for you and I forgave you, but if you don't forgive others, you won't be forgiven."
I almost just don't want to believe that because it's so drastic. It seems really harsh. Does it mean we will actually lose our salvation if we don't extend forgiveness to others? Well, Jesus said it. Was it just good advice? Or, is it true that God will not forgive us unless we forgive?
One way to look at it is like this:
Ok, you died. You're standing in front of the gates of Heaven. But, before you can get IN, you have to make sure you clean up any grudges you're holding in your heart against anyone on the planet. You can't take that unforgiveness into Heaven with you.
Maybe we need to look at unforgiveness as a sin. That would help us identify it as unwanted energy. It's a strain and a drain and a weight on our souls. That would mean that forgiveness is NOT an option. You don't get to choose to not forgive without very heavy consequences, according to Matthew 6:15.
What we need to ask ourselves is: "Do I really want God to not forgive me?"
What does that mean? Can you imagine God waiting on you to forgive your brother or sister before He deigns to forgive you? Do we really want to build a wall between ourselves and God?
How do we picture God? Is He the One who is critical, cold, hard, austere, rigid, unbending, unsympathetic and bound to the law? Is God like that? No! That is not the picture of the Christian God.
That pretty much describes the Devil.
Yes, folks, it's the Devil who has all those attributes. He's legalistic, judgmental, proud, haughty, unbending, unmerciful, critical. Oh, AND unloving. In case you didn't know it.
So, now, taking everything into consideration: where does unforgiveness come from? God? Jesus?
I have had difficulties forgiving people whom I felt did me wrong. One thing that helped was to STOP focussing on that person's huge mistake and to focus on a few of my own bloopers and unkind deeds (of which there are plenty). But the way to make forgiveness come easy is to remember in detail all the suffering that Jesus had to go through for our own sins.
Besides, if I hadn't gotten saved when I did, who knows what terrible crimes I would have been capable of committing? If I'd stayed on that road to destruction and selfishness, it may have led me to any number of dastardly deeds! But, thank God, someone had the love and compassion to tell me about salvation!
Now, it's just a matter of passing it on. "Pay it forward." And that's what forgiveness is all about: "paying it forward" because "what goes around comes around" and for sure, we're gonna need forgiveness one of these days very soon!
The bridge of forgiveness is a VERY busy bridge just flowing with non-stop traffic! God help us not to cause a road block.
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